He Can … But Should He?

A friend recently told me a story about his son, a partner in a small law firm, who recently had to fire his administrative assistant. Why? Because she didn’t show up for work for a couple of days. No call, no text—nothing. When asked why she didn’t call in, her response was: “I didn’t want to bother you while you were at work.”

Let that sink in for a second.

In any workplace, the most basic expectation is that if you’re not coming to work, you call in. That’s true for every role, everywhere.

But here’s where the irony multiplies: this wasn’t just any employee. She was his administrative assistant. The very definition of that role is to "bother" the boss at work. And by that, I mean: to interrupt, to remind, to communicate. So by not calling, she didn’t just break a basic rule. She sidestepped the core responsibility of her job.

That’s like a chef saying, “I didn’t want to bother you with food,” or a teacher saying, “I didn’t want to bother you with learning.”

It’s funny—until it’s not.

Later in the same conversation, my friend mentioned that his son often struggles with his administrative staff. They don’t like how he talks to them.

And my friend’s comment? “Well, he’s the boss. He can speak to them any way he wants.”

And technically, that’s true. He can. But the real question is: Should he? Because the way he speaks to his people—the way he interacts with them—may actually be contributing to the very problem he’s complaining about.

If he wants better outcomes, he needs to change his inputs. He says he wants his people to be more professional and more accountable, yet he models the opposite. He shouts at them about small mistakes and then wonders why his people act small.

Here’s the thing: this isn’t about one law firm or one frustrated leader. This is what happens when we externalize the problem—when we point over there and say, “Those people.”

But leadership doesn’t start over there. It starts right here.

Before we decide who’s failing to meet our expectations, we have to ask ourselves a harder question: How am I contributing to the results I’m getting? Because culture isn’t what we say we want. It’s what we consistently model.

If you manage people, your job is people -- and you are responsible for modeling and coaching the behaviors you want to see in your people.

Reflection Prompt:

What’s one pattern in your team that frustrates you? And if you’re honest—how might your own words, tone, or actions be reinforcing it?

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Andrea Applegate is a leadership consultant, coach, and creator of LeaderShift™. a collection of practical, immediately implementable insights and deeper dives designed to shift mindsets and strengthen skillsets of leaders at all levels. Her work is rooted in the Mutual Learning Approach, where clarity, trust, and accountability aren’t abstract values—they’re daily practices.

👉 Curious what this could look like for your team? Explore the Great Leaders | Great Bosses™ Series or schedule a conversation.